Your First Impressions vs. My Reality

Hi! My name is Bonjé.

If you were to meet me in person today, you would think that I'm just a normal twenty-something college student with a strange name and pretty red hair.

If you attended school with me, you might even be tempted to think of me as that one girl in your classes who is always on top of things and always has her life together. 

But think again. Things aren't always as they seem.

You see, I have an invisible illness.

Oh, wait.
You can't see.

You can't see what's wrong with my body, but I feel it every moment of every day.

And unless you happen to be a spoonie too, my life doesn't work the same way as yours. Every decision that I make as I go about my daily life is defined by this invisible chronic illness.

My illness is a dysautonomic condition called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. That mouthful of words (POTS for short) essentially means that my body is allergic to gravity; every time I stand up, bad things happen. Blood stops flowing to my brain the right way. Eventually, I can't think straight and the world starts to fade from my vision. My heart rate spikes uncontrollably as my heart puts in a valiant effort to correct the issue, but it just makes things worse. I become breathless and dizzy. My face pales into a white sheet. And I am in imminent danger of either fainting or going into a limp (but conscious) POTS seizure.

But don't worry! There's a simple solution; all I have to do is lay down on the ground, put my legs up, and wait a minute for the blood to flow back to my brain. Good as new.

Do you see a teeny tiny problem here, though? I can't exactly live my life flat on the ground. Besides, laying on the floor is sort of taboo in most places. So how do I do it? How do I get up in the morning and walk to school? How do I keep a job? How do I function, both physically and emotionally? That's what this blog is about. I want to give you a little glimpse into my dysautonomic world.

If God has blessed you with good health, my hope is that my story of POTS can help you understand the struggles that at least 500,000 people like me in the U.S. face every single day. Additionally, I hope that your walk with God can be personally encouraged by my story of faith as I seek strength through Christ when I have no strength of my own. 

If you also suffer from chronic illness, I feel for you. It's likely that your illness is even more disabling than mine. Don't give up. Read my story for encouragement, maybe even for a few helpful tips. Then read the stories of other bloggers with chronic illness, too. I promise you, you're not alone. There is a whole online community of people like us who have various types of dysautonomia and other chronic illnesses.

Now, I'm just getting started with this whole blogging thing. Hopefully you'll listen to more of my story as time goes on. But if you're just DESPERATE to know more right now, here's a quick preview:

• I was officially diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome three months ago.
• Before that, I experienced mysterious and disabling symptoms for over two years.
• I sought help from at least 23 different doctors during that time, even traveled all the way to Mayo Clinic, but no one had accurate answers for me.
• I was finally diagnosed by a cardiologist right in my hometown.
• Now that I actually know what is wrong with my body, I'm on a mission to find the best way to live a purposeful (yet possible) life with POTS as I serve Christ with all my heart.

You'll have to stick around for a bit to hear the rest of my story. If you'd like to be notified when I post a new update, you can subscribe to my blog in the sidebar to the right.

In the meantime, stay strong. 

I'm praying for you.

Bonjé Gioja

P.S. Any burning questions for me? Want to help me brainstorm blog post topics? Just wanna make my day? Leave a comment down below!