Welcome, dear friend! If you missed the earlier parts of my diagnosis story, catch up here:
PSA: There are a lot of things that could cause a girl to skip her period.
For example, if a girl's body is suffering from a severe illness that has neither been diagnosed nor treated, her body might just decide for a while that dropping an egg sounds like too much work. Makes sense, right?
Feel free to pass that memo along to my doctors.
Every single waiting room intake paper contains the same question: "When was the date of your last period?" For at least three or four months, I had only one date to write on that wretched piece of paper. So during those months, my doctors considered that the likely cause of my so-called "mysterious" symptoms was actually pregnancy.
Although multiple doctors have played the pregnancy card (especially when my parents were with me at my appointments, thus motivating me to "misrepresent my sexual activity"), one particular instance comes to mind.
A quick bit of context for today's story: I had just returned from spring break and was ready to finish out my second semester of freshman year. But shortly after my return from break, I came down with a fever which confined me to my bed. Initially I didn't worry about the issue too much; I figured that I had probably caught some germs while traveling. But after my fever persisted for a week, my brother and my boyfriend took me to the all-too-familiar Emergency Room.
I told my E.R. doctor that I had a fever. I also told him that for the last few days, my head had constantly felt like it was going to explode from the pressure inside. Every time I tried to stand up, I lost my balance and my vision was instantly obliterated by a thick sheet of silvery stars. And my sheets were drenched with sweat multiple times each day. I could literally wring drops of sweat from my pajamas. Finally, just to add a cherry on top, gastrointestinal issues had been bothering me as well.
After describing my symptoms, I explained to my doctor that I had a history of undiagnosed illness and non-epileptic seizures. I voiced my concern that this fever could somehow be related, and I asked my doctor to run some tests to identify its cause.
I didn't have a stuffy nose or sore throat. But just to be safe (it was flu season after all) my doctor tested me for various bacteria and viruses. Everything came back clear, so then my doctor jumped to the next likely conclusion: He insisted that I must be pregnant. (Along with skipped periods, a fever can actually be an early sign of pregnancy.)
But I knew that there was no possible way I could be pregnant. Sure, I'm a young and pretty college-age girl with a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean squat. I've never had sex and I don't intend to have sex until I am married.
I tried to explain this to my doctor. I tried to explain that I'm a straight-A student at a conservative Christian college. And I don't just follow my college's rules because they're there; I know that my actions are answerable to God. I promised my doctor that nowhere during my spare time was I getting hanky-panky with any sperm factories. (Spare time? What spare time? I had a full course load and I worked hard for those straight A's! Spare time did not exist in my life.)
All I could think was: This doctor is so stupid. If I'm pregnant, then God must have chosen me to be the second virgin Mary. I wish my doctors would stop making false assumptions about me and start actually listening to me instead.
But my words meant nothing to my doctor. He assumed I was lying. So I did the only thing I could do. I peed in a cup. (Hmm... I wonder how much my parents had to pay for the test just to prove this doctor wrong??)
Then we waited for the test result. And... surprise! No baby on the way!
Phew, I was really (NOT) worried there for a second. Now will this doctor listen to me??
At this point my doctor didn't know what to do. He administered an IV for hydration, but was unable to help me further.
I was dismissed from the E.R. that night with the diagnosis of...
wait for it...
a fever.
_________________________
To this day, I don't know exactly what caused that fever.
My working theory at the time was that the twenty-something supplement pills per day which a naturopathic doctor had prescribed to cure me were actually making me sicker. I had already experienced an allergy to the anti-anxiety medication given to me by an earlier E.R. doctor (yes, the doctor in part one of my story), so I thought perhaps my body didn't like these new chemicals either. So I stopped taking all of my supplement pills, and my fever finally broke a few days later.
Looking back now that I have my actual POTS diagnosis, I have another theory: It is very possible that spring break was just so stressful that it triggered an extreme flare-up in my body.
During that spring break I had opened a giant metaphorical can of worms from my past, and the mental stress triggered by that situation hit me like a train. (I don't want to hurt anyone involved, so I won't tell details.) My anxiety spiked intensely and I battled nightmares for months after that spring break.
Along with being mentally drained, I had also drained myself physically because I had spent the majority of my time during spring break painting rooms in my parents' new house addition. So all of this physical and emotional stress intertwined to create a very exhausted Bonjé. And I've since learned that this POTS illness in my body kinda likes to jump in and take over anytime I let myself wear too thin. Each flare-up is different, and these days I've learned to just do nothing but rest until the flare runs its course.
I will never know for certain why my body decided to ignite a week-long fever after that spring break. What I do know, though, is that my dorm room positively reeked of sweat after that fever finally broke.
I also know that Christ will always be my strength, even when I am too weak to stand up. I invariably find myself turning to one particular Bible passage during a flare-up. If you find yourself wearing thin today, I encourage you to find comfort in these words from the apostle Paul:
"I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NIV)
Your weakness,whether physical or otherwise, does not define you. If you have the grace and strength of Christ in your life, then His vast love for you is the only thing that defines you.
_________________________
Read the next parts of my diagnosis story here:
My Symptoms are More than Just Mental Illness: My POTS Diagnosis Story, Part Six
Finally, An Answer: My POTS Diagnosis Story, Part Seven
Stay strong this week as you rest in the power of Christ. I'm praying for you.
Bonjé Gioja
P.S. Have you ever had a doctor accuse you of lying? What do you think caused my fever? And when you face struggles of your own, where do you seek encouragement? I'd love to hear your thoughts below! :)
P.P.S. You can sign up to follow my blog in the sidebar to the right, or right here! :)
For example, if a girl's body is suffering from a severe illness that has neither been diagnosed nor treated, her body might just decide for a while that dropping an egg sounds like too much work. Makes sense, right?
Feel free to pass that memo along to my doctors.
Every single waiting room intake paper contains the same question: "When was the date of your last period?" For at least three or four months, I had only one date to write on that wretched piece of paper. So during those months, my doctors considered that the likely cause of my so-called "mysterious" symptoms was actually pregnancy.
Although multiple doctors have played the pregnancy card (especially when my parents were with me at my appointments, thus motivating me to "misrepresent my sexual activity"), one particular instance comes to mind.
A quick bit of context for today's story: I had just returned from spring break and was ready to finish out my second semester of freshman year. But shortly after my return from break, I came down with a fever which confined me to my bed. Initially I didn't worry about the issue too much; I figured that I had probably caught some germs while traveling. But after my fever persisted for a week, my brother and my boyfriend took me to the all-too-familiar Emergency Room.
I told my E.R. doctor that I had a fever. I also told him that for the last few days, my head had constantly felt like it was going to explode from the pressure inside. Every time I tried to stand up, I lost my balance and my vision was instantly obliterated by a thick sheet of silvery stars. And my sheets were drenched with sweat multiple times each day. I could literally wring drops of sweat from my pajamas. Finally, just to add a cherry on top, gastrointestinal issues had been bothering me as well.
I didn't have a stuffy nose or sore throat. But just to be safe (it was flu season after all) my doctor tested me for various bacteria and viruses. Everything came back clear, so then my doctor jumped to the next likely conclusion: He insisted that I must be pregnant. (Along with skipped periods, a fever can actually be an early sign of pregnancy.)
But I knew that there was no possible way I could be pregnant. Sure, I'm a young and pretty college-age girl with a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean squat. I've never had sex and I don't intend to have sex until I am married.
I tried to explain this to my doctor. I tried to explain that I'm a straight-A student at a conservative Christian college. And I don't just follow my college's rules because they're there; I know that my actions are answerable to God. I promised my doctor that nowhere during my spare time was I getting hanky-panky with any sperm factories. (Spare time? What spare time? I had a full course load and I worked hard for those straight A's! Spare time did not exist in my life.)
All I could think was: This doctor is so stupid. If I'm pregnant, then God must have chosen me to be the second virgin Mary. I wish my doctors would stop making false assumptions about me and start actually listening to me instead.
But my words meant nothing to my doctor. He assumed I was lying. So I did the only thing I could do. I peed in a cup. (Hmm... I wonder how much my parents had to pay for the test just to prove this doctor wrong??)
Phew, I was really (NOT) worried there for a second. Now will this doctor listen to me??
At this point my doctor didn't know what to do. He administered an IV for hydration, but was unable to help me further.
I was dismissed from the E.R. that night with the diagnosis of...
wait for it...
a fever.
_________________________
To this day, I don't know exactly what caused that fever.
My working theory at the time was that the twenty-something supplement pills per day which a naturopathic doctor had prescribed to cure me were actually making me sicker. I had already experienced an allergy to the anti-anxiety medication given to me by an earlier E.R. doctor (yes, the doctor in part one of my story), so I thought perhaps my body didn't like these new chemicals either. So I stopped taking all of my supplement pills, and my fever finally broke a few days later.
Looking back now that I have my actual POTS diagnosis, I have another theory: It is very possible that spring break was just so stressful that it triggered an extreme flare-up in my body.
During that spring break I had opened a giant metaphorical can of worms from my past, and the mental stress triggered by that situation hit me like a train. (I don't want to hurt anyone involved, so I won't tell details.) My anxiety spiked intensely and I battled nightmares for months after that spring break.
Along with being mentally drained, I had also drained myself physically because I had spent the majority of my time during spring break painting rooms in my parents' new house addition. So all of this physical and emotional stress intertwined to create a very exhausted Bonjé. And I've since learned that this POTS illness in my body kinda likes to jump in and take over anytime I let myself wear too thin. Each flare-up is different, and these days I've learned to just do nothing but rest until the flare runs its course.
I will never know for certain why my body decided to ignite a week-long fever after that spring break. What I do know, though, is that my dorm room positively reeked of sweat after that fever finally broke.
"I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NIV)
Your weakness,whether physical or otherwise, does not define you. If you have the grace and strength of Christ in your life, then His vast love for you is the only thing that defines you.
_________________________
Read the next parts of my diagnosis story here:
My Symptoms are More than Just Mental Illness: My POTS Diagnosis Story, Part Six
Finally, An Answer: My POTS Diagnosis Story, Part Seven
Stay strong this week as you rest in the power of Christ. I'm praying for you.
Bonjé Gioja
P.S. Have you ever had a doctor accuse you of lying? What do you think caused my fever? And when you face struggles of your own, where do you seek encouragement? I'd love to hear your thoughts below! :)
P.P.S. You can sign up to follow my blog in the sidebar to the right, or right here! :)
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